Look, if I have to LAY DOWN on the bed and zip up my SKINNY JEANS with a HANGER…that just means they fit PERFECTLY!
No, for real though, tight pants can now KILL you.
DOCTORS have now issued a HEALTH ALERT to warn us hotties, in hot pants, that we may be doing some real serious DAMAGE to our bodacious bods!
Apparently, it’s possible to cause NERVE DAMAGE by painting on pants! Another danger, abdominal pain. How about heartburn? Worst of all, BLOOD CLOTS (“But I ain’t Jamaican man” – Kanye West – Through The Wire.)
To avoid death trap jeans, docs say buy the stretchy kind and — DITCH THE HEELS (Nevaaaaaaaah) as they increase circulation problems.
So, how do you know if your jeggings are too tight (is that even possible?!) Experts say if you have to do lunges or squats…in order to get them on…you need a bigger size.
Someone needs to alert LIL WAYNE.
Here’s to being a fashion VICTIM!!!