Now why wouldn’t you, at least, hook up with an inflatable MADE to be loved? At least it has…um…orifices.
A 20-YEAR-OLD man, named Mark from California, has been in a RELATIONSHIP — with 15 INFLATABLE pool toys — for the past SIX YEARS — and now wants to MARRY his favorite — a dragon named Lila. Mark says she’s the LOVE of his LIFE!!!???
It’s actually kinda sad, (I mean emotionally as well), as Mark says he began his obsession with inflatable toys when he was 14 because he was looking for the AFFECTION he wasn’t getting from his MOTHER. I’ll go ahead an assume that Mark’s mama is a rather robust woman…
So now Mark, who is a college student, spends his days — and NIGHTS — surrounded by his “family” of plastic pals. He claims each toy has it’s own PERSONALITY (some like listening to music while others prefer to sleep all day) and that he can NOT bear to be away from his “friends” for more than a day. He says he prefers his latex lovers over people, MISSES them when they’re apart and describes being with them as an “addiction.” Ya think?!
When Mark returns home he HUGS and KISSES each of them and then makes them all FOOD so they can eat together at the table. He talks to them non stop and even bathes them like babies. And yes, he SLEEPS with them too.
Mark sums up his love of all things BUOYANT like this, “They’re soft, they’re cuddly, the bigger they are the better they are. It kinda means there’s more to love.”
Dude HAS to be a virgin.